I'M FREAKING OUT!!!!!

Okay, it's official. I'm freaking out. RAGBRAI is just 24 days away, and I am a little apprehensive about the whole thing. At this point, I should be riding about 150 miles a week. I am riding about 25. What does this mean, you may ask. It means, I'M SCREWED.

Alright, deep breaths now. I do still have 3ish weeks to go. I am getting stronger and more confident. But still, I am a Kessler, and that means we procrastinate. So, I will be cramming in training time from here until the moment we go. Problem is, I'm having trouble getting motiviated. RAGBRAI keeps sending me updates and useful tips for training, but it seems easier to blame my lack of motiviation on a) the weather, b) to busy, c) to lazy, or d) all of the above.

I have to keep reminding myself why I am doing this. Yes, ultimately it is for the prized handbag (yet to be determined). But I think it's also about respecting myself enough to think that, while I am not Lance Armstrong, I can be an athlete of sorts. It's also to support Jeff and spend some quality time together. Although, him screaming at me to ride faster might not be quite the quality time we had in mind.

I think it's also about doing something that not everyone will do. I hope at the end, I am able to dip my tire in the Mississippi and know that, statistically speaking, I am one of an elite group of riders. No, it's not Ride the Rockies, Triple Bypass, or Copper Triangle, but I will wear my RAGBRAI jersey with pride. The pride that I did something that most thought I couldn't do. Hell, what I thought (think) I couldn't do.

IT CAN BE DONE.....

Finally, Mother Nature is being kind. After lackluster training in the smallest room in the house, I am able to venture outdoors. My dedication to this undertaking has been wavering, but armed with new purse porn and sunshine outdoors, I actually believe IT CAN BE DONE!!!

This bag is a Fendi. A little out of the price range at $27,000. Platinum handles and top grain leather or maybe spun gold. Remember, I only have a $1000 budget.

This is a Birkin Kelly bag. So named for Grace Kelly. A real bargain at $47,500.

Now, on to the biking. I have been out on the road for the last 3 days and am truly surprised at how much I am enjoying it. Despite a knee incident yesterday, I am feeling pretty good. That being said, all three rides were 5 miles, but hey, you gotta start somewhere. I have wasted over 6 months of training time by being in denial. Now with only 129 days to go, I am in a bit of a panic.

I hope Mother Nature continues to shine on me and lets me get outside. Now if Father Time would help me get up at 6 a.m. to ride.......

So, it's been a while...

Well, I fell off the wagon. I burned out on the RAGBRAI training about mid-October. Really, I was busy, didn't have a lot of free time, and the exercise bike was hurting my knee. Yes, all really lame excuses, but all I've got. The good thing is that I really missed riding. Who would have ever thought that I would miss exercising. Certainly not me. Luckily, the holidays brought me some helpful tools with which to continue my quest.

The bag at the right is a Prada flap bag. Great style. My first really great handbag was a Prada that I found at a Saks outlet. Still my favorite bag.

On the the quest. For Christmas, Santa(Jeff) brought me a bike, a trainer, and various accessories. The bike is a used LeMond Buenos Aries with Ultegra components. I actually think Jeff has a little component envy regarding my bike. I got a screaming deal by getting it on Craigslist. Now that it is hooked up to a trainer, I can start my training in full force.

The reality of it is, I'm a little scared. As the days tick down I have some apprehension. When I tell people what I'm doing, they look at me and kind of smirk. That alone makes me want to complete it, but I'm still getting the bag. Never underestimate yourself. You only know what you can do if you try. For years I have stood by and convinced myself that I couldn't do things. No more. My New Year's Resolution is to do this and I will. Hope you all come along for the ride.

Now, onto the bags. I haven't really been looking for THE bag yet. Still too many to choose from. I think I'll know it when I see it. I want something a little impractical but not too over the top. Color? Not sure. Fashion changes too fast to keep up sometimes. What I like now may be totally out by the time I shop for it in September. That is my plan. Ride the last week of July and then Vegas over Labor day to purchase said prize. Join me...

Ah, the time's they are a changin'. So said some 60's rock philosopher ( I think Bob Dylan, but am too lazy to research). The images I have included today show the changes to the handbag and its elevation to icon status. The bag on the left is a vintage Gucci bag from the 80's. Just think Dynasty. I'm sure that Joan Collins carried this bag. It was the status symbol for yuppies. It was the most recognizable logo of the time. While I can't find price info, a vintage bag like that will sell for an average of $350 dollars.

The bag on the right is from the new Gucci line. As you can see, the bag is more than the logo. It is about style and craftsmanship. The price, well over a thousand dollars. What we carry around today will probably look dated in 20 years. But it will be cool for now. A friend of mine asked me why the handbag was so important. Did it matter what I carried my stuff around in? I think it does. It is an extension of our personality and how you feel about yourself. Shallow? Maybe, but I feel a rush when some woman I don't know says "That is a great bag." We are not, in the end, defined by the things we possess. This I know.

So, now for a biking update. I am getting pretty consistent with the workout. Trying to ride every other day or as time permits. I slacked a bit this week, so will make up for it over the next four. The good news is that my padded shorts arrived this week. Hooray for saving my ass. Literally. Previously, I had ranted about the outdoor/athletic industry's bias towards the fat girl. Luckily, I found a few retailers that carry the big girl stuff. I ordered the shorts specifically because they are called the "Butt Pillow". They do work really well, but I think pillow is a bit of an overstatement. When I think pillow, I think soft, comfy, feathery. They don't quite live up to that image. But, I'm not complaining. It beats a sore ass anyday...

Another entry in the continuing quest for the handbag. This is the Chloe Paddington. Note the giant padlock. Chloe's designer is Stella McCartney, Paul's daughter. I have always loved this bag and for many months, tried to acquire one on ebay.

Two problems with that: you never know if they are authentic, and you don't quite know what condition it is in. There are reputable dealers but there are horror stories from people who have bought them at high end retailers at full retail only to find that they had received a fake. And there are lots of fakes. After all, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. There is a great blog dedicated to helping you not get ripped off(purseblog.com) and help verify if your bag is authentic. To circumvent this problem, I have decided that when it is time to purchase ( in 302 days or so), I will do all I can to avoid the fake and buy in person. Probably in Vegas. Another benefit to the quest.

So I actually did ride the exercise bike this week. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. This can only mean two things. Either I am in better shape than I think I am, or I wasn't doing it hard enough. I'm thinking it was the latter. Finding time to ride is a challenge. I don't have regular day job. I work nights, weekends, and all shift in between. Sometimes early, sometimes late. This week I was squeezing it in when I could. My best option is to get up 1/2 hour earlier than usual. Problem is, I like to sleep. I guess I will just have to keep dreaming of handbags....

So, here is the object of my affection. Balenciaga. Does any other word roll off the tongue like that?

Well, we are now at 311 days and counting and I have been derailed by a cold. Can't very well ride a bike when it feels like a 300 pound man is sitting on my chest. By Monday, I should be back on track. By on track I mean that I will actually dust off the exercise bike and start riding. See, I still don't have a road bike. I have a 25 year old mountain bike (affectionately referred to as Old Yeller) if I get desperate. This leads me to the added benefits of my quest.

Benefit #1: Health

I am expecting that this little journey I have undertaken will result in health benefits. That is if I don't die trying. Exercise seems to be the only weight loss plan that works. I am currently suffering from high blood pressure and am high risk for type 2 diabetes. That right there ought to tell you of the challenge I am facing. Hopefully, this ride will take care of these problems.

Benefit #2: SHOPPING

Maybe this should be benefit #1. I will get to shop. YEAH!!! It was a bit eye opening to see all the equipment I might need for this endeavor. First, a bike, yes. But also, bike shorts. Padded ones. In a fat girl size(it's alright, I'm okay with fat girl). See, fat girls don't really exercise. That's why they are fat. So there aren't a lot of companies that make fat girl bike shorts. Besides, no one wants to see a fat girl in bike shorts. The problem is that fat girls always have the desire to lose weight. Believe me, we aren't happy with our body image. So listen up North Face, Patagonia, and REI. We want performance gear that will fit us. For too many years we have bought men's ski pants and we are fed up. To quote Freddy Mercury, "Fat bottom girls you make the rockin world go round."

Okay, enough ranting about the bias against fat girls in the outdoor industry. I will also need gloves, shoes, jersey, jacket, socks, and helmet. And those are just the basics. I don't think Jeff realized how much this was going to cost him. Well, it is my new form of retail therapy.

Benefit #3: Friends

So far I have received a great outpouring of support from my friends. Some will be riding with us as a team, others will just give moral support. I am grateful to all. We will be registering our team in November, come join us.

It all started with a handbag

It all started with a handbag. That one over there. Alexander McQueen to be precise. I really wanted it. I really, really wanted it. But it is superfluous and unnecessary. Jeff (my husband) happened to be with me. We were in Vegas and window shopping in the high end stores. This is not something Jeff enjoys, but he indulges me once in a while. We were strolling through Barney's (handbag heaven) and Marc Jacobs and I happened to remark that I would do almost anything for a high end handbag. "Anything?", he asked. "Yes, almost anything" I replied. "Would you ride a bike across Iowa?", he asked. Hence, the deal was stuck.

RAGBRAI is the Register's Annual Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa. Seven days, 472 miles, on a bike. You might be thinking that it doesn't sound so bad. I mean, it's Iowa after all. No mountain passes. What you need to know about me is that I am overweight and out of shape. Not just out of shape. Never really in shape to begin with. So now you are thinking I am crazy. I am thinking that too. The thing is, I really want the handbag. I can't stop thinking about it.

So, in the next 317 days, I need your help to keep me motivated, offer advice, remind me why I'm doing this. Oh, by the way, I don't own a bike. Maybe Alexander McQueen makes bikes....